Cherralle Alexander, a blogger and mom of two, shares why she and her husband will only be having two children.
When we had our first child we were delighted to start the little family we always wanted. In our plans we always knew we wanted to have two children. We didn’t want our daughter to grow up without a sibling or be alone. My husband and I come from big families – I have four brothers and sisters and he has three brothers – so we wanted to have two kids (at least).
Now that we have our two little girls we often get asked, “Are you trying for a boy?” No, we are not. Not a boy, not a girl, nothing. Here’s why and why it feels right for us.
Please remember, each family’s size is their own business and this is only my view on our family.
1. NO MIDDLE-CHILD ISSUES
We’ll have a youngest and an eldest, that’s it. No middle-child issues. I don’t know if birth order has that much effect on a child’s life but still it isn’t an issue for us. Each child will have her crown of glory – one as the eldest and one as the baby of the family.
2. DIVIDE AND CONQUER
When we’re home or going out we divide and conquer, or each one takes one. I take a child and my husband takes a child, and we’re sorted. With three, what must happen? We have a “delicate” balance at this point and it’s getting better the older the girls get.
3. MONEY, SCHOOL FEES AND THEY DO NEED TO EAT
Raising children is an expensive exercise. With the rising cost of living and the challenges in our education system in SA, we’re okay with only having two children. We aim to live as responsibly as we can and we manage. We’re both hard-working parents and we want to be able to enjoy our lifestyle.
4. THE CAR SITUATION
The car only takes two car seats so I don’t know what must happen with a third child. I don’t see us getting a bigger car to accommodate three children. I’m sure families do manage fine, but we’re okay the way we are.
5. FAMILY OF FOUR JUST FEELS RIGHT
With four we feel very balanced out. It can be two against two in any family scenario. My husband will probably say it’s not balanced as it’s three girls against him.
6. OUR CHILDREN’S NEEDS ARE BECOMING SIMILAR
Ava is turning one and Caitlyn is four. We’re noticing now that things are becoming a bit easier as our routine as a family settles in. What I mean by this is the chaos is calming down – maybe a different type of chaos is to come?
They both go to sleep now within an hour of each other and wake up at roughly the same time. They share a room (when Caitlyn isn’t in our bed) and Ava is enjoying more “regular” food now. To reach this point and to revert to caring for an infant, I can’t see that right now.
7. HAPPY AND SAD BABYHOOD IS ALMOST DONE FOR US!
Our little one is turning one in a less than a month.
That is the last of babyhood for us. Ava is so cuddly and lovable and it will be our last experience of having a baby. I’m also looking forward to us being able to do different things as the girls grow up. We’ll be done with nappies, sleep routines, carrying a baby bag around, all that jazz.
Right now I’m very comfortable and happy with our family of four. I feel things are finally starting to settle down in our home as the girls are getting older.
What about you? Are you done having children or are you planning to grow your brood? Let us know. Send your feedback to [email protected] and we may publish your responses.