She stands by every single scathing word, and she would say them all over again.
Mixed veg children, crime scene wombs and sexual identity issues are just some of the insults a Methodist Church pastor’s wife hurled at people who has insulted her and her children.
Reality TV star Nandipha Mlombi of Pastors’ Wives on Honey TV fame, has been trending all weekend after she posted a long post of Facebook saying no-one has a right to judge her or insult her children.
With her little bambino cooing in the background, Nandipha sits down with Drum to explain her position.
“This all started with a playful post,” she says.
“I was speaking to young women about their upkeep. Saying they should be neat when they wear their uniforms. They should put on make-up, eyelashes and make sure their eyebrows are on fleek. And of course, they should get their nails done.
“Times are evolving. We cannot look the way our great grandmothers looked. Also, there is nothing in the church’s constitution that says make-up is not allowed. It is just some people’s preference and now they are making it sound like it’s the law. They can look like plain Janes if they want to, but they must leave us to do what we want to do. Then suddenly in the comments there were people who were insulting me, talking about how I have too many children and calling my children piglets.
“After a while of ignoring all those statements and saying nothing, I decided to address the matter. I was tired of being the bigger person. How dare they? I am a happily married and I have only been with my husband and no one else, I am doing the word of God which says be fruitful and multiply. Yet I am being insulted by people with multiple baby daddies. They have no right. Njani kaloku, nono, how?
“That post that has everyone so upset, was me retaliating. You can judge me for my language that I use, and swearing, but I am judging you for your character. Mazilime ziyetyeni (bring it on). The truth is that I did not lie in that post, there are no lies detected there. I would say those things all over again.”
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Nandipha says people need to heal and make peace with their choices. Whether they like it or not, she says, they do have multiple baby daddies and her saying that should not trigger them.
“It’s their reality. They are calling me and my family names for doing the word of God, yet they are living in sin, fornicating. I don’t know what has gotten the country so upset. It is common in the black community to say that people’s kids are like Choice Assorted if they have different dads. So now they are upset that I said mixed veg?”
Even with the gift of hindsight, Nandipha does not regret or retract her words. Asked if she believed her actions were Christ like, Nandipha gives a resounding yes.
“People have this mistake of thinking Christ was soft. That’s not true. This is the same Jesus that was flipping tables and chasing people away from the temple. I simply spoke my mind as I felt it. People think its okay to say things about a pastor, their wife or their family and nothing will happen because people are upholding some moral high ground, well not me.”
Congregants often rely on their pastors and their wives for guidance and counselling. Since her utterances, some people may not feel comfortable talking to Nandipha about her problems because she thinks so little of them.
“I am not anybody’s mentor or role model. From very early on, I said I would not counselling anyone. I have never wanted that responsibility. I am not a psychologist, I am not a professional. There’s a type of way a pastor’s wife is expected to look, sound or dress, and I do not conform to that. I do not want the stress of being boxed. There are people for are trained for that, not me just because I am a pastor’s wife. Also, I do not fit the mold of a conventional pastor’s wife and so I have never been accepted as such. When I got to church, I got there as a congregant, just like anyone. It is my husband who has a calling, not me. Mine is to support my husband in whatever manner he needs.”
She recently took to social media to share that her husband and not be placed or allocated a church for this year. And that the circuit they were leading in Bedfordview was being given to a new pastor. They were also told to leave the church mission house.
“I cannot speak much on that because it is a legal matter. The church has decided to apply for an eviction order, but we are still here. We have not been to church this year because the new pastor is now leading the church and we were told we are not allowed there.
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“These are power struggles in the leadership that the congregation is not aware about. The people in that circuit were happy with my husband. He wasn’t removed from the position because he had done anything wrong, and that is my problem. If he had committed any immoral act or fraud, then the church would have every right to remove him.
“People must stay out of business they know nothing about. If they think we are here because we are stranded and we have nowhere to go, then let them think that. But I know what I am doing.”
Nandipha also wants to address people in the church trying to convince her husband to leave her because she is troublesome.
“What goes on in my marriage is between me and my husband and no one else. I will kick with all four when it comes to my marriage. Ilobola yam zange iphume kwi nkongozelo yase Wisile (my lobola did not come from the Methodist offering). And I am not a Methodist makoti. People better stay out of my marriage.”
She believes that she is setting a good example for her children.
“My kids are blessed to have me as their mother. I am not raising push overs, they have their father’s calm spirit and my fight in them. God has given me so many children because I have the grace for them. It was not nice hearing people saying I give birth like a pig because I have six children and they called my children piglets. I had to fight back. I am human too.
“My parents and my in-laws are all supportive of me because they know how church politics are. Too many pastors or their wives are dealing with depression because congregants walk all over them. They choose to keep quiet and say God will deal with them. Well, I won’t keep quiet. God is dealing with them now, through me.”